Scary Times!

Hello, you beautiful people!

I am currently at the point in my life where I am having to start applying to Universities which in tern means I need to begin writing my personal statement and decide what pathway I would like to journey down to create the building blocks for the rest of my life - SCARY!

I'm not sure how I feel about Uni, sure I have always wanted to go because I have always known what I want to do career wise, however it is not that simple. All of my life I have dreamt of one job and one job only until just recently when I started questioning myself because honestly, this world is humongous! - and the job opportunities are endless! So deciding on one seems like the hardest decision ever..

In a number of ways I feel ready, ready to take the next step into my future but sometimes I feel like I am not at all ready, and honestly - this scares me. I don't want to grow up, I don't want to live in the 9-5 repetitive world. I want excitement and adventures! I sometimes want to spend my life travelling the world meeting incredible people, making crazy memories and just living, but then I also want that quaint little bubble life where it's just me, my partner and my kids (hopefully). Choosing ONE thing to do with your life seemed like such an easy decision growing up until I actually have to do it. Obviously I wont be travelling the world for the rest of my life (imagine me, or even yourself at 80 odd on a road trip across America - very unlikely ha!) as much fun as that would be, I need to focus and actually think for once.

So yes, I have almost finished my personal statement (it's currently a few hundred words too long.. whoops..) which has been a nightmare to write. I mean, having to sell yourself to a Uni and make yourself sound like the most interesting person in the world without fibbing is insanely difficult! Although I have just about managed to do it. Just.

Also, I have no expectations of Uni whatsoever. I enjoy sixth form and I enjoy learning but I know for sure that going to Uni is a complete different ball game, it's not as laid back as what most sixth forms and colleges are when it comes to doing the work to an extremely high standard as well as handing it in on specific deadlines. Which if I am completely honest with you guys, I am TERRIBLE when it comes to being on time with anything! Literally, if you want me to be somewhere by a certain time, I would encourage you to tell me an earlier time as I am more than likely going to be late!

I guess this all has to change though, like I said, it's scary and I need to get my butt into gear and hopefully find some positivity before the time comes otherwise I'm sure I would regret not making the most of my higher education times - as well as making new friends which is a complete other story that I will enlighten you all on sometime in the future. Anyway, I think it is time for me to complete my application and see what the future brings..

This is it from me for now, I'll speak to you again soon!

Lots of love,

toesontoast

x x

P.S. We fly balloons on this fuel called love <3